Anything and Everything

Well, hopefully after this post I don't continue my 3 in the morning habit.. haha.

So today was quite the day to say the least. This past month as I read my bible and prayed one of the biggest things that has come up is the idea of "all or nothing" with regards to our faiths. I've realized that in order to truly seek God, to truly experience a 'real' faith, I have to give Him my all or give him nothing at all. It seems simple, and I thought I understood it before but I didn't. It's something that, in my opinion, is the only way to feel God in the way that we are created to feel him and be with him. I've been praying and journaling a ton recently. I keep saying/writing "God, I'm yours. Do what you want with me, use me in any way you want, let me do your will while I'm here on earth." I just want to follow God's plans. I want to do anything and everything he calls me to do.

I think God has a sense of humor. Well.. I know he does. Ask and you shall receive. Today I was faced with one of the toughest decisions in my life so far. I could go with choice A and do what I wanted, I could be selfish and hang on to what I wanted for myself or else I could choose choice B and do what God has put on my heart today. I took a huge leap of faith and went with choice B. I stuck to what I've been praying and asking for. It's funny how when we truly give everything up to God and when we finally realize what life is all about, change happens almost immediately. I thought that now that I've finally gone to the next level with my faith it would take a while to feel different, it would be a while before I started noticing significant changes in my life. Nope. I asked, and I received. Choosing the choice opposite my selfish desires sucks to be completely honest. And I'll admit...I've cried a lot today. But I'm oddly calm and at peace right now, and I would even go as far as to say I'm excited. God has so much in store for my life, and everyone else's for that matter, and the things he has planned for us are far better than anything we could ever think up ourselves.

So today I will be reminding myself of how amazing God is, how perfect he is.

"Everything I once held dear, I count it all as lost... Rid me of myself, I belong to you." I feel like these lines from the song Lead Me to the Cross really hit it on the spot. Nothing matters in this world. Not one thing except for the Lord. He is our creator, our sustainer, our everything. Nothing else matters. I will praise him and do anything and everything.